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THE WHAT-IF TRAP

Updated: Nov 26, 2020


Excuses are like belly buttons – everyone has one, and most of them are pretty useless. Sometimes we can second-guess ourselves to death. We engage in the paralysis of analysis – trying to figure out every angle and possibility – so much so that we prevent ourselves from taking any kind of positive action, or even coming to a decision. That’s not healthy. It’s a trap. A What-If Trap.

You can’t predict the future. You can’t change the past. What you have is the ability to make a choice today, in this moment, right now. The What-If Trap is based on fear. It’s based on the need to control, and it’s based on your mind’s attempt to throw stumbling blocks in your own way, when what we really need to do is weigh the facts and make a decision.

Overthinking can sometimes cause us to run from the very things that will benefit us. While we want to employ our brain power to solve every situation, sometimes we need to take a breath and let our heart lead the way to healing and wholeness, taking into consideration the facts that we already have. Sometimes instead of just thinking, projecting, worrying, we need to allow ourselves to feel, and consider what we already know.

Intuition can be a powerful thing, if we allow ourselves the time and space to use it. We often know, deep inside, what the right thing is to do, because we FEEL it, and the information that we already have back our feelings up. Our gut tells us, go there, do that, and so many times, we need to listen to that inner voice. If we have our facts, and it feels right, it probably is!

As I’ve traveled the U.S., in my quest to find a place to call home, I found myself anxiously seeking out the opinions and thoughts of others as to where I should live, while I was plagued with self-doubt. It turned out that I wasn’t really looking for their advice so that I could make a decision. I was spewing anxiety and fear, hoping that THEY would make the decision for me.

I had to make the painful admission to myself that this was clearly related to heavy inner child stuff showing up for me, and that I needed to settle in, allow myself to follow my intuition, and to remember that this is not THEIR job. This isn’t THEIR work, it’s mine, and I needed to set my fears aside and do it. I had to calm that inner child and tap into my functional adult. I must remove the What-If’s and go with the knowns. What I know, what I feel, and the facts that I have right now, are enough. I can’t waste my time on What-Ifs and neither should you. Do your homework, then trust your instincts.

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