Everyone needs community. Some of us may call it our person, our tribe, our group, or our posse, but whatever we call it, we all need to have at least a few other humans around us, who love and accept us the way that we are, and who will be there for us as we develop and grow.
I’ve been traveling the country in an RV for 6 months. I meet tons of new people on a daily basis, and as we get to know each other, and I openly share what I am looking for in my new ‘home’, nearly everyone can relate. At the end of the day, we humans all pretty much want the same thing – people around us who are safe and dependable. I was on a date recently and my date sat there and described how he had found pretty much everything that he needed in life, except the right partner. As we talked the word community slipped out of his mouth.
It is ironic that so many of us are craving community, yet we’re living in ways that disconnect us from community. To put ourselves out there in search of our person, or tribe, makes us feel vulnerable. Rejection is a profound fear for most of us, so we just stop trying at times. I totally get that, but I encourage you to embrace that vulnerable edge and take some baby steps towards that community you crave.
What kind of community do you crave? A significant other? A book club? A walking group? What sorts of things do you need/desire from your particular community? What are some small steps you can take to work towards that community you desire? It can be as simple as striking up a conversation with the person next to you at the coffee table. It does not have to be elaborate, extensive, or overwhelming.
One thing that always helps me is to make a list of things to think about and do. That way, when I’m faced with situations or opportunities, I’m more likely to take advantage of them.
What type of person/people you’d like to have in your life.
Where might you find your tribe. Coffee shop? Library? Sports clubs? Make an effort to go places where you’re likely to meet compatible people.
There’s nothing wrong with saying hello and making small talk! If you engage in this practice with everyone you meet, eventually you’ll run into someone who is a perfect community member for you. This practice also helps combat shyness and fear of rejection.
Also important – have you ever considered the fact that there are people out in the world, looking for someone just like you. Let that sink in. You’re the person that they want in their community. Get out there and meet them, you’ll both be better for it!